Mood: sad

Today was a bit of a rough day. Got a package in the mail from my grandma, sent with a letter from my aunt. It was a sweet and nice letter, but mostly talked about how my mom is missed and what we should do with her remains (ashes). It has been over 4 years since she died, but dealing with some issues doesn't seem to get much easier. The family wants to be involved in spreading my mom's remains where my mom requested, in New Mexico. Right now, I would like to just have them (when my grandma is ready to give them up) and then spread them on my own time, when I am ready. Up until about a month ago, I was not sure if I'd ever see my mom's ashes again because my sister had them and no one had heard from her in years. She is still not wanting to be in touch with anyone. Wonder what she is up to. I think about her often and do wish I could have her back in my life, but that is not up to me. My grandma has the ashes because someone in the family requested them from my sister to give to my grandma on her 90th birthday and my sister followed through. Also in this package were a few photos of my mom, including a photo of her all dressed up for work the day before she had her stroke. She does not look like someone who will not be around tomorrow, especially by natural causes (yes, accidents happen every day). I miss you, mom. K was awesome and comforted me during this sad afternoon.

Then tonight, K and I went to see a play, Rabbit Hole. It was very well done and we both enjoyed it very much. However, the play was about a family who lost their 4 year old son to an accident. It was a very real play and did a good job of portraying some of the things that might and do occur among family members during grief. It was comical at moments and tragic at others.

So most of my day revolved around grief. Except this morning I did start physical therapy today. :) The therapist is very optimistic that I will progress quickly. Mostly, I just need to get moving my wrist and hand, get past some pain, and then strengthen it. The Dr and physical therapist both think I should be able to be back on my bike in about a month. So that is my goal.